What's wrong with " Attractiveness Scale" chart.....
Jan posted a chart he seems to be interested in. I didn't know exactly why I didn't like it at all on a first place until I talk with Gwen about it.
With her help and understanding, I have been able to point things which made me uncomfortable with the ideas of this chart (check out the chart on Jan's blog if you want to know what I'm talking about).
The idea is to be able to specify a reationship by two characteristics "Mental attractiveness" and "Physical attractiveness". And these two measurements are going to determine if you can marry someone, only date someone, be eventually friend with etc.....
I think it's just simplistic and wrong.....
The first natural question is: Where would I put some of the people I know and where people I know would put me? And my first reaction is DAMNED NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No way I will classified relationships!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Specially not the people I care about and specially not with these characteristics..... It's limiting relationship to attractiveness and I don't like this idea at all.
Basically, all my friends are physically unattractive, or all my friends think I'm unattractive??????????????? Or if they are attractive, I have to mary them, even if they are already with someone else!!!!!!!!!! NO this is nonesense!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have friends I find attractive (physically and mentally) and I want to be friend with them, it's just fine. I hope also that some friends think I'm attractive and that doesn't imply they want to date me!!!!!!!!!!
I had some boyfriends I didn't find very attractive at a first place, but you know what, it turn out they were quite compatible!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So if you look for the recipe of happiness in this chart, I honestly think you are completely wrong. This is a recipe for superficial relationship, I don't think it's a recipe which would explain compatibility between people, it's way more complicated than this superficial view.
What define compatibility between people? I honestly don't think it's attractiveness, or at least it's not the more important factor(Mental and/or Physical).
Well, what I wrote may be a little confuse. I just write down my feeling, feel free to start a conversation and tell me your opinion.
With her help and understanding, I have been able to point things which made me uncomfortable with the ideas of this chart (check out the chart on Jan's blog if you want to know what I'm talking about).
The idea is to be able to specify a reationship by two characteristics "Mental attractiveness" and "Physical attractiveness". And these two measurements are going to determine if you can marry someone, only date someone, be eventually friend with etc.....
I think it's just simplistic and wrong.....
The first natural question is: Where would I put some of the people I know and where people I know would put me? And my first reaction is DAMNED NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No way I will classified relationships!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Specially not the people I care about and specially not with these characteristics..... It's limiting relationship to attractiveness and I don't like this idea at all.
Basically, all my friends are physically unattractive, or all my friends think I'm unattractive??????????????? Or if they are attractive, I have to mary them, even if they are already with someone else!!!!!!!!!! NO this is nonesense!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have friends I find attractive (physically and mentally) and I want to be friend with them, it's just fine. I hope also that some friends think I'm attractive and that doesn't imply they want to date me!!!!!!!!!!
I had some boyfriends I didn't find very attractive at a first place, but you know what, it turn out they were quite compatible!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So if you look for the recipe of happiness in this chart, I honestly think you are completely wrong. This is a recipe for superficial relationship, I don't think it's a recipe which would explain compatibility between people, it's way more complicated than this superficial view.
What define compatibility between people? I honestly don't think it's attractiveness, or at least it's not the more important factor(Mental and/or Physical).
Well, what I wrote may be a little confuse. I just write down my feeling, feel free to start a conversation and tell me your opinion.
posted by Cecile at
4:38 PM
4 Comments:
*grin* hey Cecile - of course this is nonsense. but you don't think it's funny anyways?
By
waveman, at 5:38 PM
I guess the chart just gave me the oportunity to explain what I think about the concept of attractiveness and the fact to reduce a relationship to that. I'm getting frustrating with the obligation to be "attractive" in a "certain" way in order to "catch/keep" someone.
My reaction is simply because I'm not good at the "game" of being attractive. And at the same time, I feel I'm good at relationship with people. I even think I could make a "future hypothetical" boyfriend happy, but I'm not good at create the opportunities..... Quite frustrating, isn't it?
By
Cecile, at 6:45 PM
did I talk with you about this cecile. Because I know I talked to Jan about it. Frankly I totally agree with you. The chart is absurd, too simplistic and fails to take a number of things into account. It honestly made me mad... I refuse to let someone stupid enough to create a chart that absurd to make any judgements on my life or relationships.
By
Geoff, at 10:29 PM
Bah... l'idée d'une charte, c'est à mon avis plus pour se rassurer... C'est facile de se retrancher derrière des critères, ça évite d'aller voir plus loin, de s'engager.
T'inquiète Cécile, moi je te trouve "very attractive" !
By
Anonymous, at 5:31 AM
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