What's wrong with me?

I start to worry: what's wrong with me? I'm spending money like crazy, and it does not look like me at all.....
I grew up in a Farm with a cult for parsimony, with ideas like "don't buy what you don't really need", "presents are not important", "secure the future instead of spending money for immediate pleasure", "your value is not what you can possess or wear".... All that sounds like crap but believe it or not, I experimented it.... As examples: my father would make sure I don't wear new cloths for the first day of school just because you're "socially" suppose to do so; as a teenager, my parents forgot a few time my birthday... I never felt poor or anything like that, and I received an incredible amount of love, but I felt frustrated quite often and sometime I thought it was difficult to assume the unconventional opinions of my parents.
As I became older, as strange as it sounds, I started to like the idea of parsimony, and I even enjoy the fact to be "different" than the socially accepted "standard".
I'm also convince I will never find happiness in what I can buy, so I try not to be too attached with the things I can buy....Don't make any mistake, We need money to live and I don't deny that, I just feel that there is plenty of stuff not that necessary after all.....
With all this ideas, I never spent that much money than now!!!!!! Starting with my road bike, vacation to Hawaii, weekend to New York, flights to France, location of a cabin in Tahoe for the all winter, board games, CDs, comics books, plenty of cloths....... And I plan to buy even more stuff......
So, what's wrong with me?
I don't know, maybe I became more "American", maybe it's not that bad after all.....
Whatever, I'm way too complicated sometime.....

Dear bike

Do you remember my spring resolution? Well, it was about my new road bike and a ride from San Francisco to Tiburon with Daniel. I did almost the same thing this weekend but this time I went with Olivia instead of Daniel (he was too busy at work... This concept is quite strange for a French....). I don't use my bike as often as I thought (damned resolutions....) but well it could be worst. And doing rides with other people is really nice.
We stopped by Sausalito on our way to Tiburon to have a look on the houses on boats, we saw this very nice car which made me reminds that my father likes a lot this kind of toy (I thing he had one when he was a kid).
At Tiburon we took the ferry to Angel Island. After some hesitations on the road: the beginning was on dust and my bike doesn't work on that kind of trial.... We finally found out that the dust was only on a very short portion, passed this part, it was a very large road for bikes and walkers only. It's a very nice place with fantastic views and some interesting uphills.....
During our way back to San Francisco, we stopped by Sausalito again for a very deserved "ice cream and coffee" break. We finally took the ferry to join San Francisco instead of our bikes, well don't laught please, we were tired.... We took the last Ferry at the last minute: they were closing the doors....
Well the day wasn't very difficult but we were tired enough to appreciate the comfort of the ferry. The conclusion of the day with Olivia was that we have to find another place to do it again soon.... like next weekend :-) ....

Basketball Pool party....

For the few people who don't know me well yet. I'have been playing basketball since I was 7. Do not jump on the conclusion and think I'm a very good player, this is not the case. My level allows me to have a lot of fun when I play but I'm not competitive enough and not tall enough and simply not good enough to play at a high level. Anyway, I don't really care, my goal is to have fun and meet people. At the same time it's important in my life, if I don't play for a while I miss it a lot. So when Florian and Myriam invited us (me, Jan, Anthony, Helen, and the usual group of friends from SF) for a pool party, I was glad Daniel brought his basketball pool set. This is a wierd adaptation of basketball in a pool. Playing with a bunch of crazy men is a bit violent, but I have to admit, I had a lot of fun. On the first picture you can see Axel (Florian and Myriam's son) practicing with Anthony. And on the next picture, Jan seems not quite getting the rules yet.....

Good bye "Ondes de choc"....[Au revoir "Ondes de choc"]

I'm sad tonight.... I wanted to spend a quiet night this Saturday evening listening my favorite music show on my "used to be" favorite radio station.
[Je suis triste ce soir....Je voulais passer une soiree tranquile a ecouter mon emission de radio favorite sur la station de radio qui m'etait si chere (oui oui Gwen tu sais laquelle: cette radio rend les citroniers heureux.....)]
And what a disappointment: it was the last show!!!! And it's really a bad news for me. I really enjoyed so much listening this very sensible guy (Laurent Lavige). His purpose is to introduce people to all kind of good music. It's really a nice and smart guy and you can tell he is very generous and truly wants to share his passion for music and for the artists.
[Et quelle deconvenue: j'ai ecoute la derniere emission!!!!!! Et ce fut un choc, j'ai pris dans le passe tellement de plaisir a ecouter l'animateur Laurent Lavige, un gas tres sensible que ca m'a rendu tres triste. Son but est de faire decouvrir tout un panel de bonnes musiques. Il est vraiement tres genereux et intelligeant et on voit tout de suite qu'il a a coeur de faire partager sa passion de la musique et des artistes.]
I started listening the show maybe 4 years ago, I wasn't interested at all in music, and he made me discovered plenty of great artists I now enjoy listening...
[J'ai commence a ecouter regulierement cette emission il y a environ 4 ans, je n'avais pas specialement d'interet pour la musique et pourtant il m'a fait decouvrir plein d'artistes que je prends maintenant beaucoup de plaisir a ecouter.]
Crap...I heard my favorite radio station was drastically changing its policy... All the really nice shows with a true freedom of speech seems to be disapearing gradualy.....
[Mince alors, On m'a dis que ma radio preferee changeait drastiquement sa politique, presque toutes les emissions avec une reelle liberte d'expression sont en train de disparaitre petit a petit.....]
The so known "French cultural exception" may be a nice but dying idea??????????? The idea is basically to treat the culture differently than a product of consumption. Because the culture is the identity of a country, it has to be protected and should not be under the entire control of the market. This idea is nice because it kept some areas safe from the dictate of "making the maximum of profit".... Not that I don't like watching a super production time to time, but knowing that some movies can be produce with subsidiaries which allow film makers to express their messages even if the movie may not be such a big commercial success is nice. I kind of feel more confident in the humanity... But well, I'm such a naive girl...
[La tellement connu "exception culturelle" a la Francaise est peu etre bien en train de disparaitre????? L'idee derriere cela est de ne pas traiter la culture comme un produit de consommation comme un autre. Parce que la culture est la base de l'identite d'un pays, il faut la proteger et elle ne devrait pas etre soumise aux regles de la "maximisation du profit". Bon c'est pas que je rechigne devant des super productions de temps en temps mais le fait que certains films puissent etre produits a l'aide de subventions afin qu'un realisateur puisse faire passer des messages est important. Et meme si le succes commercial n'est pas garanti, le film peut tout de meme etre produit. Ce concept a tendance a me donner confiance dans l'humanite, mais bon, je suis une incorigible naive.....]
It's not the end of the world, it just make me feel a little uncomfortable......
[Ce n'est pas la fin du monde, ca me rends juste quelque peu mal a l'aise.....]

Being a stranger [etre une etrangere]

I have been at Daniel's birthday party last WE. It has been a very nice moment and what Daniel said during his speech touched me a lot.
[J'ai ete a l'anniversaire de Daniel le WE dernier. Cela a ete un tres bon moment et Daniel nous a fait un petit discours qui m'a beaucoup touche.]
He explained that being a stranger in a country makes the friendship something really very special and precious. We don't have the family around to live with even if we stay in touch, so the friends are even more essential to make our life be a nice one.
I totally agree and felt grateful he expressed it so well.
[Il a explique que vivre dans un pays etranger fait que l'amitie est quelque chose de vraiement special et precieux. Nous ne vivons pas avec nos familles respectives meme si nous restons en contact, du coup, pour la vie de tous les ours, les amis prennent une place primordiale. Ils sont un element essentiel pour faire que l'on se sente bien dans nos vies.]
Maybe because my life was quite nice in France with some very good friends and an incredibly sweet family, and maybe because I moved in the US quite late without really any plan to move away one day... I feel more fragile and sensible in the US than I was in France. That doesn't mean I regret my choice, on contrary, that just mean I'm more aware of the importance of the relationship with people, the ones in France and the ones in the US....
[Peu etre parec que ma vie etait tres agreable en France avec quelques tres bons amis et une famille adorable, et peu etre aussi parce que j'ai demenage aux US plutot tard dans ma vie sans que je n'ai jamais planifie de m'expatrier un jour... Je me sens plus fragile et sensible aux US que je ne l'etais en France. Cela ne signifie pas que je regrette mon choix, bien au contraire, celsa signifie juste que je suis plus sensible a l'importance des relations que l'on peut avoir entre personnes, aussi bien ceux en France qu'aux US.]
The fact I'm in this situation just force me to challenge myself a little bit. And give me the opportunity to meet some very nice people.
[Du coup je me retrouve a me bouger un peu plus, avec un peu plus de challenges dans ma vie. Cela me donne aussi une opportunite de rencontrer de personnes tres riches en experience et que j'apprends a beaucoup apprecier.]

Happy kids [Heureux enfants]

I have a few pictures of my friend's kids. They spent a WE in my parent's house when I was in France. I got to know each of them a little better (specially the youngest ones) and my feeling is that they are really nice kids.
[J'ai quelques phtos des enfants de mes amis. Ils ont passe un WE dans la maison de mes parents lorsque j'etais en France. Cela m'a donne l'occasion de les connaitres un peu mieux (specialement les deux plus jeunes) et mon impression et que ce sont des enfants tres sympa.]
Some theories said that when you became parent you stop having fun to spend your entire time and energy taking care of your kids.
[Des theories affirment qu'a partir du moment ou vous devenez parent, vous arretez de vous faire plaisir et tout votre temps et toute votre energie passent a vous occuper de vos chers enfants.]
For sure it's a full time job, but even if my friends don't claim it's easy every days, they seem quite happy and not completely exhausted.
[Pour sure, c'est un travail a temps complet mais meme si mes amis ne disent pas que c'est tout le temps facile, ils semblent plutot heureux et pas completement sur les rotules]
Well I have some theories: they simulate their happiness, they are some kind of super heroes, their kids are "perfect", they use a hidden army of baby sitters, it was the only "happy time" in the year, someone not experimented cannot understand how hard it is, it's hard because it's never ending (30 years later with some luck)....
[Bon, jai quelques theories a proposer: ils simulent leur bonheur, ils sont des sortes de "super heros", leurs enfants sont "parfaits", ils utilisent une armee cachee de nounous, le seul temps "heureux" de ectte annee fut ce WE, des gens n'ayant pas d'enfants ne peuvent de toute maniere pas comprendre la difficulte de la chose, et peu etre bien que le probleme est que c'est dur parce que ca n'en fini jamais (30 ans avec un peu de chance....)]
Well, whatever, it was a nice moment and I like spending time with these kids and their parents. And my privilege is that I'm not in charge of the education, so I can take only the fun part of having kids around.
[Peu importe, j'ai passe un tres bon WE et j'aime passe du temps avec ces loustics et leurs parents. Et mon privilege est que je ne suis pas responsable de leur education, du coup je ne prends que la partie sympa d'avoir des enfants autour de moi.]
I used to baby sit Ben once on a while, Nath and Yo knew I would cook only what Ben liked, just not to have to struggle against Ben's strong character...... So I have nice theories, but, at the same time, I'm not really brave.....
[J'ai garde quelques fois Ben, Nath et Yo savent bien que je ne cuisinais que des choses dont j'etais certaine qu'il aimerait. Tout ca juste pour ne pas avoir a affronter le mecontentement de Ben. Du coup, comme vous pouvez le constater, j'ai certaines belles theories mais en meme temps je ne suis pas bien courageuse....]